He’s got to be some kind of ancient God of beauty because this is ridiculous.
me: *goes to hell* what the fuck is this
satan: Welcome To My Twisted Mind.
LIKE SHE’S NOT EVEN BEING SUBTLE ABOUT THE SHIT
religion: nicki minaj destroying and being disgusted at phallic symbols
I actually feel sorry for Americas youth. This is your role model. My role model is my father. And I can spell whole words too.
broe you are 40 years old i’m pretty sure youve raised america’s youth
I haven’t. Because if I’d raised Americas youth, my daughters would value themselves more than using banana as a phallic symbol for being a dick in her mouth. And if my daughter liked a dick in her mouth, she wouldn’t advertise it to the world. A freak in the sheets but a lady in the streets.
I’m feeling second-hand embarrassment for a 36-year-old man what even is this.
i feel so whack judging lame people in relationships im so bitter that nerds can be happy
So just because someone doesn’t fit your definition of “cool” they’re not allowed to be in a happy, healthy relationship? Maybe that’s why you’re single.
im single because every sexual partner ive had has died from immense physical trauma due to my gigantic wiener. so maybe take a walk in my shoes before you judge…
My dad was complaining about buying me books yesterday and I said “well at least it’s books” and then the cashier goes “yeah it could be drugs”
Straight White Boy Problem #385
*in class* why do we need to know this
*in drivers ed* why do we need to know this
*reading prices at stores* why do we need to need to know this
*kim kardashian article on yahoo home page* why do we need to know this
*looking at electoral ballot* why do we need to know this
*reads protein powder nutritional information* its imperative to know how many scoops of powder I must obtain for maximum output of body mass in as little time as possible
everyone who thinks im cute because theyve seen my selfies online have got a nother thing coming tbh lol……………. cameras cannot pick up how beautiful i am in real life
people who go into the shower then turn it on are not to be trusted
The only inspiration I need in my life
Go down a waterslide when it isn’t wet and you’ll understand why foreplay is so important.
This is the best explanation I’ve ever read.
today during lunch this kid dressed as buddy the elf stood up and said “the best way to spread christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear” and got the whole cafeteria to sing a christmas song with him
My anaconda don’t want none
because it ate last month and snakes don’t need to be fed very often since they use external environmental heat sources to regulate their body temperature and can therefore survive on far fewer calories than warm-blooded animals
Emma Watson Dancing with Jimmy Fallon
Jimmy Fallon you fucking lucky bastard you